I know that it has been months since my last post. I am working hard on it, it is really long and comprehensive...it's really informative. So please be patient! :)
I just wanted to share an experience I had on the bus today. I was really upset at first about it - I had planned a really last minute get-together with my friend and she cancelled when I was in the middle of my trip (taking public transport AKA "the T" as it is called here). I was really frustrated but after sleeping on it; in hindsight my trip had a purpose. It seems kind of extravagant for the purpose it entailed - but I really think that a conversation I had with the woman on the bus really need to take place for her sake; and it was just before my friend cancelled on me. I am glad I was there to inform her. I really wanted to ask her name and I wish I did; but I didn't get the chance. We'll call her Ana. So here is kind of how it went:
Ana: "Oh, please sit here, you shouldn't have to stand!"
I sat next to her, pulling my daughter's carriage close. "Thanks!"
Ana: Your daughter is soooo cute! How old?
Me: Almost a year! She is so big, I can't believe it!
Ana: Yes, it goes fast! I have one, he is almost five! You look so youuung!
Me: Really?? That's great. So you know how it is. I am a bit young!
Ana: I had mine when I was in high school, his father and I separated last year. I am glad that I had help and was able to go to college after though. Is her father still in her life?
Me: That's okay, sometimes it doesn't work out. Yes, we're still together! Are you going to "the local" [I am excluding the actual name] college?
Ana: Yes! I got a degree from somewhere else first, and graduated from it early. I'm trying to go on more.
Me: That's fantastic! I bet you love it! -- My daughter interrupts at this time and starts babbling to Ana, who talks a little back.
Ana: She is so big and healthy! My son was always so small and always slept! Does she wake for bottles in the night?
Me: No, never. She's a great sleeper!
Ana: That's great, my son was always a good sleeper too, I was lucky! Formula is just so expensive, that I would have had to buy a lot more if he woke at night!
Me: We actually breastfeed so we don't have to buy any, which is great because the money for it is awfully pricey.
Ana: Really? You are still going?? I could only breastfeed my son for one month. It hurt me so bad for him to suck! And I was always dripping dripping, I couldn't even pump. - Ana looked really bummed, so I thought I'd see how open she was to a few pointers.
Me: Oh, I'm sorry! Did you see any lactation consultants about figuring out the problem?
Ana: No, what is that? -- I was a bit bewildered she wasn't offered one at the hospital.
Me: They are trained in breastfeeding and can help figure out problems like latch for sucking, and tongue and lip ties.
Ana: Really? So breastfeeding doesn't have to hurt? What is a lip tie?
Me: No, I never had any pain! Lip ties are when the little piece of skin doesn't let him use his lip right for latching. Usually the pediatrician or dentist will just snip it. -- I showed her my daughter's lip tie, which is not clipped.
Ana: Oh, my son has that! He clicked a lot too. Does that mean that any other babies I have will have a tie?
Me: No, but it's very possible. If you think that this is a problem with your next baby, you can have it clipped and it will help.
Ana seemed so hopeful and excited that maybe next time she could breastfeed! She offered up some more.
Ana: I have a new boyfriend and we have been talking about more kids. But, what do I do when I have to work? I can't breastfeed there.
I laughed a little. Me: Of course not, but your work has to give you time to pump, and you can store that milk for the next day for daycare.
Ana: And what about dripping all the time? Don't you still drip?
Me: No, I dripped a lot in the beginning. After 2 months I only dripped sometimes, and after six months I never dripped anymore.
Ana: Really? That is great! It is so healthy instead of formula, I wanted to do it more with my son. They say it helps with infection and them not to be sick. Does she bite? I am afraid the teeth will hurt.
Me: A little, when they get used to having new teeth. It hurts, but you just teach them No! and put them off and wait five minutes, and try again. After a few days she never bit me again on purpose. Yes, my daughter has never been sick. It is really good for the immune system.
Ana: Wow, I am so happy that maybe I can breastfeed! Thank you. And you are so young and knowledgeable. Wow. -- Ana proceeded to talk to my daughter who was getting a little fussy from not having attention. haha!
We sat in silence for a minute or two and then my stop came. I apologized for having to get off, and that she should have a nice day. I told her if she ever needs help, to ask for it! There is a lot she can do give herself the best chance! I am sure we chatted a little more about other things, but this is mostly what I remember.
In hindsight this was very humbling for me. It is a stark reminder of how uninformed women are, and how little help they really are offered. How are women supposed to achieve their goals if no one gives them the pointers they need to find the path that leads them there? I am so thankful that I was able to help "Ana" and I am thankful that she will get a chance to do something she really seemed to care about. I love helping women and I'm glad to be blessed with knowledge to do so. It does sadden me how little help "Ana" was offered, but I am glad to make a difference. Perhaps she will pass this knowledge to her friends, and they will pass it to theirs. And perhaps their children will then be encouraged to make that decision for their children. You never realize how important and far-reaching a five minute conversation can be until after it happens. I am very privileged and lucky to have had this information to give her.
Thank you "Ana" and I hope you got the information you were seeking, even if it was five years late.
I just wanted to share an experience I had on the bus today. I was really upset at first about it - I had planned a really last minute get-together with my friend and she cancelled when I was in the middle of my trip (taking public transport AKA "the T" as it is called here). I was really frustrated but after sleeping on it; in hindsight my trip had a purpose. It seems kind of extravagant for the purpose it entailed - but I really think that a conversation I had with the woman on the bus really need to take place for her sake; and it was just before my friend cancelled on me. I am glad I was there to inform her. I really wanted to ask her name and I wish I did; but I didn't get the chance. We'll call her Ana. So here is kind of how it went:
Ana: "Oh, please sit here, you shouldn't have to stand!"
I sat next to her, pulling my daughter's carriage close. "Thanks!"
Ana: Your daughter is soooo cute! How old?
Me: Almost a year! She is so big, I can't believe it!
Ana: Yes, it goes fast! I have one, he is almost five! You look so youuung!
Me: Really?? That's great. So you know how it is. I am a bit young!
Ana: I had mine when I was in high school, his father and I separated last year. I am glad that I had help and was able to go to college after though. Is her father still in her life?
Me: That's okay, sometimes it doesn't work out. Yes, we're still together! Are you going to "the local" [I am excluding the actual name] college?
Ana: Yes! I got a degree from somewhere else first, and graduated from it early. I'm trying to go on more.
Me: That's fantastic! I bet you love it! -- My daughter interrupts at this time and starts babbling to Ana, who talks a little back.
Ana: She is so big and healthy! My son was always so small and always slept! Does she wake for bottles in the night?
Me: No, never. She's a great sleeper!
Ana: That's great, my son was always a good sleeper too, I was lucky! Formula is just so expensive, that I would have had to buy a lot more if he woke at night!
Me: We actually breastfeed so we don't have to buy any, which is great because the money for it is awfully pricey.
Ana: Really? You are still going?? I could only breastfeed my son for one month. It hurt me so bad for him to suck! And I was always dripping dripping, I couldn't even pump. - Ana looked really bummed, so I thought I'd see how open she was to a few pointers.
Me: Oh, I'm sorry! Did you see any lactation consultants about figuring out the problem?
Ana: No, what is that? -- I was a bit bewildered she wasn't offered one at the hospital.
Me: They are trained in breastfeeding and can help figure out problems like latch for sucking, and tongue and lip ties.
Ana: Really? So breastfeeding doesn't have to hurt? What is a lip tie?
Me: No, I never had any pain! Lip ties are when the little piece of skin doesn't let him use his lip right for latching. Usually the pediatrician or dentist will just snip it. -- I showed her my daughter's lip tie, which is not clipped.
Ana: Oh, my son has that! He clicked a lot too. Does that mean that any other babies I have will have a tie?
Me: No, but it's very possible. If you think that this is a problem with your next baby, you can have it clipped and it will help.
Ana seemed so hopeful and excited that maybe next time she could breastfeed! She offered up some more.
Ana: I have a new boyfriend and we have been talking about more kids. But, what do I do when I have to work? I can't breastfeed there.
I laughed a little. Me: Of course not, but your work has to give you time to pump, and you can store that milk for the next day for daycare.
Ana: And what about dripping all the time? Don't you still drip?
Me: No, I dripped a lot in the beginning. After 2 months I only dripped sometimes, and after six months I never dripped anymore.
Ana: Really? That is great! It is so healthy instead of formula, I wanted to do it more with my son. They say it helps with infection and them not to be sick. Does she bite? I am afraid the teeth will hurt.
Me: A little, when they get used to having new teeth. It hurts, but you just teach them No! and put them off and wait five minutes, and try again. After a few days she never bit me again on purpose. Yes, my daughter has never been sick. It is really good for the immune system.
Ana: Wow, I am so happy that maybe I can breastfeed! Thank you. And you are so young and knowledgeable. Wow. -- Ana proceeded to talk to my daughter who was getting a little fussy from not having attention. haha!
We sat in silence for a minute or two and then my stop came. I apologized for having to get off, and that she should have a nice day. I told her if she ever needs help, to ask for it! There is a lot she can do give herself the best chance! I am sure we chatted a little more about other things, but this is mostly what I remember.
In hindsight this was very humbling for me. It is a stark reminder of how uninformed women are, and how little help they really are offered. How are women supposed to achieve their goals if no one gives them the pointers they need to find the path that leads them there? I am so thankful that I was able to help "Ana" and I am thankful that she will get a chance to do something she really seemed to care about. I love helping women and I'm glad to be blessed with knowledge to do so. It does sadden me how little help "Ana" was offered, but I am glad to make a difference. Perhaps she will pass this knowledge to her friends, and they will pass it to theirs. And perhaps their children will then be encouraged to make that decision for their children. You never realize how important and far-reaching a five minute conversation can be until after it happens. I am very privileged and lucky to have had this information to give her.
Thank you "Ana" and I hope you got the information you were seeking, even if it was five years late.
